Mu is an international organization representing MAPs around the world. A recent survey of various MAP communities revealed a number of key concerns. One of the biggest issues was the misunderstanding of minor-attraction and all it entails. Let's take a quick look at some of the major misunderstandings.

Attraction is not action

Most people attracted to adults act on their feelings by having sex with other adults. Therefore, everyone assumes that most people attracted to minors must inevitably act on their feelings by having sex with minors. This is far too simplistic. First of all, there are widespread disagreements between MAPs on the ethics of having sexual contact with minors (AMSC). Many MAPs believe it is inherently wrong. Furthermore, many MAPs who believe it is not inherently wrong are deterred by concerns about the minor being harmed by social and legal responses. Finally, those who believe it is not harmful despite the social reaction are still very much aware of the consequences if the relationship is discovered. Many MAPs abstain from sexual contact with children.

Our fantasies are not violent

There are a small number of sadists in every community, but MAPs are not predisposed to fantasizing about violent assault. In our heads, when we imagine sexual contact with minors, we do not picture them crying and screaming. We like the idea of sexual contact that is mutually enjoyable, and we are seriously offended by the widespread assumption that we are sadistic.

Minor-attraction has an extreme emotional drive

MAPs describe a unique empathy for younger people and extreme desire to form emotional connections. This seems to apply to younger people in general, and not just specific people to whom the MAP is sexually attracted. Although adults in romantic relationships form strong emotional connections to each other, such feelings are typically restricted to the partner and a small number of other romantic interests. Even though it is still a sexual attraction, minor-attraction seems to have a stronger emotional component than adult-adult attraction.

Platonic relationships matter, and can stay that way

Platonic relationships with younger people are hugely important to MAPs, no doubt due to the extreme emotional drive described above. Many MAPs have significant experience of mentoring youth, forming 'big brother' (or sister) connections that are beneficial to both the younger person and the MAP. These relationships typically do not become physical in nature, and most MAPs find the emotional connection extremely fulfilling. Many of these platonic relationships continue into the younger person's adulthood.

MAPs are your family members, co-workers, and friends

Attraction to minors is quite common, but MAPs typically don't disclose their attraction to all but one or two trusted people due to the extreme stigma. However, we are not faceless monsters; we are people you know and love. Mu's survey revealed that many 'normal' people, in their reaction to a MAP coming out, liked the individual enough to react at least neutrally. Nonetheless, the topic was generally avoided in everyday conversation due to discomfort caused by widespread MAP hysteria.

Appendix: Summary of survey findings

The key issues for our surveyed MAPs were those of misunderstanding and isolation from other members of society. Respondents were troubled by the conflation of attraction with action, and particularly upset about the belief that they were sadistic monsters who wanted to brutally assault screaming children. They explained that even their fantasies were non-violent in nature, and felt this was not well understood.

Reactions to coming out were generally more positive than we expected. Family members tended to react better than friends, and reactions to coming out as a boylover were overall more positive than reactions to coming out as a girllover. Many participants reported that while family and friends accepted them, their sexual orientation was rarely a topic of discussion.

Although being unable to relieve their sexual feelings was a problem for many participants, it was not the most serious problem. MAPs reported feeling exceptional empathy toward young people, believing they had a unique emotional connection with children that went beyond their sexual feelings. They felt they were unable to satisfy these emotional feelings due to the stigma of adult-child platonic relationships and the presumption that sexual abuse would be inevitable.

Getting 'caught out' in minor ways, such as someone picking up on their sexual interest in children, was a common traumatic experience for MAPs. It is clearly very difficult to perfectly hide such feelings for children. Reactions generally did not involve violence or police complaints, but did result in the breakdown of relationships with adult or child friends. Many MAPs reported their most traumatic experience to be the neverending nightmare of simply living among the barrage of hateful messaging. Of course, for those who experienced being arrested, this was their worst experience.

The constant hateful messaging also has negative effects on family and friends, as well as the wider community. It causes MAPs to be insecure in their relationships and not trust others, which may be confusing and hurtful to those who are unaware of the reason. For those who do know, especially close family members, there is often a significant fear of the consequences of the MAP being outed, potentially resulting in guilt by association.

Respondents raised a plethora of concerns about how MAP hysteria might affect children. These included the risk constant extreme messaging driving MAPs insane and thinking they must inevitably become monsters, the danger of the relentless hunt pushing MAPs underground, the conflation of violent and non-violent actions due to all AMSC being labeled 'child rape', minors being afraid to report actual abusers due to the fear of consequences for themselves and the abuser, excessive limitations on youth sexual agency, constraints on platonic mentoring relationships and adult-child interaction in general, and the damage caused to those who realize they are MAPs during their formative teenage years.

In terms of change that MAPs hope to see in the future, the focus was primarily on awareness and understanding. Reforming Age of Consent laws and attitudes toward AMSC were discussed, but they were secondary to participants' desires to not be treated as evil monsters. Some people advocating AMSC-related reform predicated their demands on the basis that such changes are needed because the public is often incapable of drawing a distinction between attraction and action, and between violent and non-violent AMSC. Listening to the voices of young people was an important concern for some of our respondents, who felt that it was wrong for only adults to be speaking about an issue that affected the agency of youth.

Many participants saw positives in their attraction to children. Notably, they felt they had a gift for connection with children, and wouldn't want to lose this. Others discussed a greater tolerance for other marginalized groups, and a more open-minded perspective on issues in general.

Overall, the picture is one of MAPs suffering immensely from stigma, isolation and hatred. Legal prohibitions were a concern, but being unable to maintain a normal social life and experience platonic relationships with children were more serious problems. For representatives of the MAP community, and our allies, resolving these issues should be a key focus going forward.

We will issue further press releases based on this survey at a later date.

Published by The Mu Committee