In September 2024, Mu surveyed a number of MAPs on our own MAP Forum, B4U-Act's message board B4um, and the popular GirlLover board Visions of Alice.

We asked ten questions about the feelings and experiences of participants. In this two-part article, we will summarize trends, provide key quotes from the survey, and finish with a brief analysis of key findings.

This is Part 2 of 2.

(Return to Part 1)

Question 8. What changes are needed?

Responses varied, but awareness and understanding of the true nature of minor-attraction and MAPs was the most common demand. Some respondents discussed the need for reform of AMSC-related laws and attitudes. Many thought that reform was desirable not just to allow them to have lawful consensual sexual contact with minors, but also because the public seemed entirely incapable of distinguishing between fantasy and reality. In such circumstances, they felt that the liberation of even fully anti-contact MAPs would benefit from a softening of attitudes on AMSC. The need for giving louder voices to young people themselves was also very important to many of the participants.

Closedness and ignorance breed phobia, moral panic, insane false fantasies, hatred and aggression, resulting in the suffering of minors and adults. Open discussion and communication is needed. Recognition of the natural sexuality of youth and MAP.

• MAP Forum respondent

I also believe that this is an issue we need to bring out into the open in order to safeguard children and young people. I'm sure minor-attraction (particularly ephebophilia and hebephilia) is way more common than is generally supposed. I'd go so far to suggest that it's verging on normal to find pubescent children a turn-on. Certainly finding mature teens sexy used to be accepted as a fact of life; people made jokes about it. The St Trinians films in the 1960s are an obvious example. And one only has to look at the huge demand for prohibited images involving children, despite the risks of incarceration and social exclusion, to conclude that it is not really such a fringe interest. All the societal virtue-signalling that goes on around the issue just pushes the issue deeper underground, sending people into denial and stunting self-awareness and self acceptance.

• MAP Forum respondent

Younger partners in age gap relationships should have an absolute right to prevent criminal prosecution of an older partner, but any change that grants them more of a voice than they have now would be a big improvement. If people younger than 18 were given the vote, they might at first choose protectionism, but I think eventually they would want to have that voice. Suffrage has been the key step in other liberation movements, and that could be true of youth liberation as well.

• MAP Forum respondent

There needs to be a clear understanding of the difference between map/pedophile and abuser. An abuser can abuse anyone of any age or gender, but a map or pedophile is nothing more than a person who is romantically, emotionally and physically attracted to young people. When you see two adults with an attraction to each other it is a sweet thing, they are smiling and enjoying each others company, it's a heart warming thing to see. But seeing the same thing where one person is a child and those smiles are interpreted as cries for help and the sweet vision is twisted into a terrible hidden abuse. A child who says otherwise has been groomed and corrupted, there is no tolerance that would allow for anything sweet to exist in this scenario. So an understanding that abuse is abuse but a map/pedophile is simply someone with such an attraction and it doesn't have to be anything bad or dangerous.

• MAP Forum respondent

It's hard to see a clear path forward for MAPs to normalization that keeps the current legal sanctions in place. So long as sex is seen as "a fate worse than death" for a minor (regardless of how much they agreed to it or enjoyed it) then the attitudes towards MAPs will remain. Burning 1,000 non-offending MAPs (who have a 1 in 1000 risk of offending in the future) alive will be seen as acceptable because it saves one child. All the while ignoring the fact that sexual abuse is continuing, no matter how harsh the penalties get. All the while ignoring that targeting MAPs will not prevent the majority of CSA cases that are made up of situational offending (including by family). The lives of MAPs, even offending MAPs, need to be seen as having innate value. So long as we're othered as monsters nothing will change.

• MAP Forum respondent

Our sexual minority group should have the same rights and freedoms as every other sexual minority group, and existing laws should be strengthened, mightily, to bring this about. It should be possible for any individual MAP or group of MAPs, to take any other individual, company, government agency or health agency (especially the APA) to court where evidence clearly demonstrates the defendant has discriminated on the basis of the claimant’s sexual orientation. Laws also need to be strengthened with regard to the right of the child to bodily autonomy; chief among these, age of consent diktats, need to be overhauled. We should be able to gather socially as a group publicly, without having to fear retribution.

• MAP Forum respondent

A lot. I cant name all. But as a general change, taking more resources to prevent and stop suicide (not only among MAPs, but suicide in general population) and making clear these resources are also for MAPs can be a good first step to the social change.

• B4um respondent

Many things. To quickly state. Understanding of MA as nothing inherently more than an attraction and actions or personality traits or other else are not innately defined through that attraction. Knowledge about what to do if someone tells you or what to do if you yourself find yourself in any situation. The perception that MA doesn't make anyone less.

• B4um respondent

Societal awareness has a long way to go. The increasing body of research and scholarly literature helps. A more immediate goal is hosting spaces for MAPs to convene and support each other, and making these spaces more known and accessible.

• B4um respondent

We need to somehow pass the word that MAPs can gather in a non-judgmental online community, which addresses the most important short-term goal – building our own self-esteem. We need to support organizations that recognize that we are human like everyone else and help encourage changes that benefit most people (but they’d never admit it). One such example is addressing laws on CSAM, which have led to so many of us being placed on the SOR. As for long-term changes, I don’t see much happening there until we reconcile our respective spiritual differences, which drive many of the angry attacks on us.

• B4um respondent

The public needs to be educated. The truth about us needs to be disseminated—not just information but also positive examples of MAPs. When a man rapes a woman, most people don't generalize that all men are rapists because there is an overwhelming number of counterexamples. By contrast, the only "pedophiles" (in quotes because they may be situational offenders) that the public tends to hear about are offenders, so in their eyes 100% of pedophiles are offenders.

• Visions of Alice respondent

First and foremost we need to be a protected class, we shouldn't be fired, evicted, or denied service just for being out. And the fact that we are MAPs alone should not justify a search warrant. There are certainly plenty of other issues ranging from drawn porn to age of consent reform, but the most important thing is just to be allowed to exist while out.

• Visions of Alice respondent

The public needs true facts about our sexuality and the dehumanization of MAP's must stop. Pedophiles should be able to come out openly. People should realize that this is not some fetish, but a true sexual orientation with all the same emotions that come with all the other sexual orientations.

• Visions of Alice respondent

Question 9. Are there any positives of being a MAP?

Respondents overwhelmingly focused on the extreme levels of empathy, connection, and affection they had to offer to children. Others discussed their world views changing for the better, and becoming more open-minded and tolerant of other marginalized groups.

I am empathetic to kids in general. My own kids talk to me more than they do their mother and they confide in me and ask me for help with school and other situations. I have no physical attraction to my kids but I have an empathy that I know comes from the fact that I am a map. I encourage them and support them and it makes me a better parent. Other parents see and feel that and often ask me to talk to their kids and help them and I've had single moms ask me if I would be a role model to help their kids through tough times.

I've had romantic interests before but never anything that crossed legal lines and even when there's been a strong physical attraction, it has been as part of a broader romantic feeling and so I've never been close to abusing someone.

• MAP Forum respondent

I'm very open-minded about world issues, and I have unique takes that I might not otherwise have.

• MAP Forum respondent

This may not be true of all MAPs, but in my case connections I was able to build with minors (including those I'm not attracted to!). I tend to want to give minors more autonomy than most adults do when I interact with them. I don't see them as "kids" but as "people".

• MAP Forum respondent

I find more emphatic to children than the average teleio. They can be awesome with children as well, but i think we MAPs can be especially sensitive to their needs. Being a MAP also opened my mind to the suffering of other collectives of people i listened and very few people want to listen. Being a MAP also opened my mind to be conscious of ageism and adultcentrism, two realities of the system we live, realities are manifested every day in form of a variety of abuses and neglect to children and teens the average teleio dont see as abuse or as something concerning.

• B4um respondent

Certainly! Sexuality can be fulfilling and beautiful, and MAPs are no exception. I find that accepting my minor attraction has given me so much empathy for other misunderstood marginalized groups, and it makes me happy to connect with others and support them.

• B4um respondent

I gain a lot of joy from my mental fantasies. I have strong emotional feelings which had led me to do actions that benefit individuals. I feel a sense of love and caring that is very unique and special to me.

• B4um respondent

Feeling the greatest love, even if it's not actionable in the way many of us want. It's something to feel warm and inspired about, and a tinge of sadness too, as any worldly love brings.

• B4um respondent

As I began to accept the fact that I was gay, my political and religious views started to change dramatically. As I do the same with my MA, it not only further changes my perspective on both, but drives me to take action as well. I’ve been knocking doors to encourage folks to vote in the upcoming election, which I see as a litmus test for sanity in today’s otherwise chaotic world.

• B4um respondent

There have been countless stories of pedophiles having a positive impact on children, simply by being a friend or a caretaker. We take care of them and show them love even when other adults aren't up to the task.

And despite all the anguish, when I do have a chance to spend time with a little girl, the feeling is incomparable. Just seeing a girl in public smiling or being silly is enough to brighten my mood, if only for a moment.

• Visions of Alice respondent

Being part of a marginalized group has made be incredibly empathetic and kind. Many people comment on just how loving and understanding I am, and that comes from knowing what it's like to be part of an extremely hated group of people. I've had so many terrible things said about me/MAPs, and I've survived it all, and with a smile on my face to boot. I know that, if I can survive being a MAP, I can do anything. Because of being a MAP, I have positively impacted the lives of thousands of kids who have felt the love I have for them. While they may not have known the romantic nature of it, they felt it nonetheless and it helped them feel safe and loved.

• Visions of Alice respondent

Being a MAP gives me a thrilling feeling of personal excitement about the children of the world that need our love and care; embracing love for what it is and not conceptualizing it as lust or selfish gain.

• Visions of Alice respondent

I have a special gift of being able to connect with and relate to kids in ways that non-peds will never have and I fully embrace and celebrate it. I can make kids smile in ways that others can’t, and if I have to carry the hate of the world to see those smiles, then so be it.

• Visions of Alice respondent

Knowing something that others don't is both a blessing and a curse. More than that, the ability to see children in such a positive light, and to have that emotional spark for them is so special. I could never not want that.

• Visions of Alice respondent

Being attracted to girls have brought me so much joy. Girls are the most beautiful creatures in this world and I feel happy when I see them or spend time with them. I feel that my pedophilia is connected to ability to connect with children - even with boys or girls I'm not attracted to me. I think children are the most interesting people. They're not the side characters in my life but the main characters.

• Visions of Alice respondent

There are 2 kinds of love towards children that are immeasurable: Parental love and a romantic/affectionate love. Pedophilia gifts you with the later. A love so unique and strong that nobody who isn't a pedophile will ever understand. If I could, I would give my life to protect/save a little girl.

• Visions of Alice respondent

I'll speak for myself here. LGs give me so much joy. My love for children has coloured my life in so many positive ways. It has led me to TV, movies, art, and literature that I never would've otherwise appreciated. It has led to so many great experiences, and some of my happiest memories. Yeah, it's tough being a MAP, but I wouldn't change it even if I could.

• Visions of Alice respondent

Question 10. Please add any additional thoughts or comments.

Many respondents chose not to add additional comments. Those who did highlighted the importance of our work in teaching the public about MAP-related issues and experiences.

It's a very important issue because people are routinely jailed for the most minor of things and people are routinely abused and hounded by people who just feel they have a free ticket to abuse people who are badged as being pedophiles.

• MAP Forum respondent

I am always looking to share my story and perspective as a MAP. I hope that our stories can help others better understand themselves and feel empathy for those of us who are persecuted and hated by mainstream society.

• B4um respondent

Many thanks for all you’re doing to promote MAP rights and our collective search for truth and dignity.

• B4um respondent

If anything I say makes it to your article, it’s that I hope that someone out there who’s hurting so bad reads all our words and comes to realize they aren’t alone. There’s enough hate in this world towards our kind; No one should ever add to that by hating themselves.

• Visions of Alice respondent

Ive been in therapy now for some time and have even switched to another more professional organization that is specialized in pedophilia in a very progressive country. And what I have learned is this. The method that is internationally being used to help struggling pedophiles is that they acknowledge they CANNOT change your sexual preference in any way and they dont even try to do this. But what they do is they try and improve all other aspects of your life that could be improved with the idea in mind that if the rest of your life is better, you will not feel that much pain anymore from your attraction. You can handle that aspect of your life better now. They will counter all of the things that are a problem in your life and that are also possible risks for acting out at the same time.

• Isolation being countered by improving and expanding your social network.
• Self acceptance being countered by being able to talk to like minded people like this forum, will also cause you to not feel super alone in this.
• Depression being countered by identifying stuff that you like to do, both in and outside the house so you are busy.
• Boredom and too much free time countered by making sure you have things to do daily

You get the idea. And by improving every single aspect of your life, its easier to deal with your attraction.

• Visions of Alice respondent

Summary of findings

The key issues for our surveyed MAPs were those of misunderstanding and isolation from other members of society. Respondents were troubled by the conflation of attraction with action, and particularly upset about the belief that they were sadistic monsters who wanted to brutally assault screaming children. They explained that even their fantasies were non-violent in nature, and felt this was not well understood.

Reactions to coming out were generally more positive than we expected. Family members tended to react better than friends, and reactions to coming out as a boylover were overall more positive than reactions to coming out as a girllover. Many participants reported that while family and friends accepted them, their sexual orientation was rarely a topic of discussion.

Although being unable to relieve their sexual feelings was a problem for many participants, it was not the most serious problem. MAPs reported feeling exceptional empathy toward young people, believing they had a unique emotional connection with children that went beyond their sexual feelings. They felt they were unable to satisfy these emotional feelings due to the stigma of adult-child platonic relationships and the presumption that sexual abuse would be inevitable.

Getting 'caught out' in minor ways, such as someone picking up on their sexual interest in children, was a common traumatic experience for MAPs. It is clearly very difficult to perfectly hide such feelings for children. Reactions generally did not involve violence or police complaints, but did result in the breakdown of relationships with adult or child friends. Many MAPs reported their most traumatic experience to be the neverending nightmare of simply living among the barrage of hateful messaging. Of course, for those who experienced being arrested, this was their worst experience.

The constant hateful messaging also has negative effects on family and friends, as well as the wider community. It causes MAPs to be insecure in their relationships and not trust others, which may be confusing and hurtful to those who are unaware of the reason. For those who do know, especially close family members, there is often a significant fear of the consequences of the MAP being outed, potentially resulting in guilt by association.

Respondents raised a plethora of concerns about how MAP hysteria might affect children. These included the risk constant extreme messaging driving MAPs insane and thinking they must inevitably become monsters, the danger of the relentless hunt pushing MAPs underground, the conflation of violent and non-violent actions due to all AMSC being labeled 'child rape', minors being afraid to report actual abusers due to the fear of consequences for themselves and the abuser, excessive limitations on youth sexual agency, constraints on platonic mentoring relationships and adult-child interaction in general, and the damage caused to those who realize they are MAPs during their formative teenage years.

In terms of change that MAPs hope to see in the future, the focus was primarily on awareness and understanding. Reforming Age of Consent laws and attitudes toward AMSC were discussed, but they were secondary to participants' desires to not be treated as evil monsters. Some people advocating AMSC-related reform predicated their demands on the basis that such changes are needed because the public is often incapable of drawing a distinction between attraction and action, and between violent and non-violent AMSC. Listening to the voices of young people was an important concern for some of our respondents, who felt that it was wrong for only adults to be speaking about an issue that affected the agency of youth.

Many participants saw positives in their attraction to children. Notably, they felt they had a gift for connection with children, and wouldn't want to lose this. Others discussed a greater tolerance for other marginalized groups, and a more open-minded perspective on issues in general.

Overall, the picture is one of MAPs suffering immensely from stigma, isolation and hatred. Legal prohibitions were a concern, but being unable to maintain a normal social life and experience platonic relationships with children were more serious problems. For representatives of the MAP community, and our allies, resolving these issues should be a key focus going forward.

Please feel free to discuss this article on our forum thread.